You know what I hate more than the Cowboys? Nothing. A couple days ago, NFL.com held a debate over the
greatest playoff rivalries in the game. All the debaters agreed 49ers-Cowboys is a top five rivalry.
Jeffri Chadiha at ESPN even claimed,
[The mid-nineties] was the last time we saw two legitimate powerhouses tussling on an annual basis.
Still, I finished these articles feeling they failed to appreciate how much loathing there is between these two franchises. In that vein, here is a thorough list of all the reasons the 49ers fans can and should - nay, MUST - hate the Cowboys.
- 1970 - After decades of mediocrity, Dick Nolan finally leads the 49ers to the post-season. Pissing on our parade for the first time, the Cowboys knock the 49ers out of the playoffs.
- 1971 - For the second year in a row, the Cowboys knock the 49ers out of the playoffs.
- 1972 - Bench warmer Roger Staubach comes into the NFC Championship game off the pine, throws two touchdown passes in the last two minutes of the game, and ... the Cowboys knock the 49ers out of the playoffs.
- 1981 - The 49ers wipe the floor with the Cowboys 45-14 early in the season, but the Cowboys make it to the NFC Championship game nonetheless. In that game, Joe Montana leads an 89 yard drive, ending with Dwight Clark's catch over Everson "Posterized-On-My" Walls in the most glorious play in the history of anything on this or any other world. (Why is this a reason to hate the Cowboys? Because fuck the Cowboys, that's why.)
- 1992 - After winning fourteen regular season games, the heavily favored 49ers blow it in the NFC Championship game when Bucky Fucking Dent makes the only play in his life that ever mattered, and ... the Cowboys knock the 49ers out of the playoffs.
- 1993 - Hair Crimes Johnson is so drunk at a pre-NFC Championship game press conference that he predicts the Cowboys will win. George Seifert is so drunk during the game that the Cowboys do win, and ... the Cowboys knock the 49ers out of the playoffs.
- 1995 - After helping the 49ers win the Super Bowl the prior year, Deion Sanders pulls an Anakin Skywalker and signs with the Cowboys, who he promptly helps win a Super Bowl.
- Ms. Tarrell Owens.
- 2005 - Mike Nolan's first season the Cowboys score fifteen points in the 4th Quarter to win by three.
- 2008 - While the 49ers have snowball's chance in hell of making it to the playoffs this year, they will play the Cowboys in a regular season game for the first time since '05. Afterwards, we'll all have one more reason to hate the Cowboys.
Is this the best rivalry in football? Probably not, and definitely not at this moment. Are the Cowboys the 49ers' biggest rival? Maybe. Regardless, for all the playoffs the Cowboys have knocked the 49ers out of over the last 40 years, we really owe them a big debt of fuckyouitude.
